How Much Longer?

Music is powerful. Often a line in a song can awaken emotions within me that spoken word can’t, including the pain in my heart that I’d rather ignore.

The song “How He Loves” is like that in my life. The line “When all of a sudden/I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory” aggravates a bitter wound in me. You see, I don’t know what being ‘unaware of my afflictions’ is like. I wish I did, I really do. I can’t just ignore my wheelchair. The best I can do is grin and bear it until I am healed. I try to focus on God’s love as the song invites me to do, but with each passing day as I wait for healing, this is becoming increasingly difficult. Romans 12:12 says:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (NIV)

I know I haven’t mastered this yet. I’m not sure I can be patient in my affliction much longer. So what is the answer?

When Jesus was on earth, he healed people who had been sick for a long time. One woman had been bound with a spirit of infirmity for eighteen years (Luke 13: 10-17)He healed one man at a pool who had been sick for thirty-eight years. (John 5:1-15)

These are just two examples of how Jesus intervened in the lives of desperate people. He empathizes with the fact that I don’t always understand His timing and that I have an earnest desire to escape my affliction. He wants me to persevere as I wait for breakthrough. He demonstrates this in a parable in Luke 18.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

(Luke 18:1-8, NIV)

Even though I can’t ignore my affliction, I can continually petition God for healing. He is a just and gracious Father who hears the prayers of his children and answers them. This is the truth I cling to in this ever lengthening time of waiting. My God is faithful and He will not fail me!

The Winner

In the endless blue sky of the Sun

The moon can be seen

A sign of darkness to come

Light will slay darkness

For light rushed in on darkness

From the dawn of time

At the bidding of a booming voice

Darkness tried to advance

But light has seen victory

Though darkness has a moment

Light has all time

With moon, stars and sun to shine

It will never die

Story Behind the Poem

I wrote this poem when I was sitting outside my apartment. The moon was in a cloudless sky. It got me thinking about how light will always win over darkness. I believe Jesus is always victorious over Satan. Out of that certainty came this poem, I hope it encouraged you!

Call Upon Our Healer

I have been writing poetry since I was nine years old, and I’ve loved every minute of it! This is a heartfelt poem I wrote a few weeks back. I thought I would post it here to encourage anyone who is desperate for a healing touch from Jesus. He is willing and able! Cry out to Him and He will answer.

My Broken Healer

I cry out to You, Jesus

You hear my voice

You know how I long to run

To leap

To dance

You kneel down beside me

Embrace me and whisper:

 “My body was broken for you.

Dear child, you will be healed.”

I can’t stop imagining

What it will be like!

The moment when I will put my hand in Yours!

I will touch those cruel scars

You will lift me up

I will gain strength through Your Word

“Daughter, arise and walk.”

We will dance

You will gently lead me

You will twirl me

And dip me

What a joy that will be!

To be in step with You

And know the rhythm

Of your heartbeat

All will see

And give You glory

Savior, healer

Risen King

Broken for me

In You I have

Victory

Quick Interventions During a Long Wait

We all need Jesus to intervene at some point in our lives. Sometimes He intervenes quickly in a time of crisis, and other times the wait is endless. In my life I have experienced the latter and longed for the former.

There’s a story in Matthew 9 where Jesus has two very different opportunities to intervene in two very different people’s lives. A synagogue leader needs immediate healing for his daughter. A woman who has had an issue of blood for twelve years desires to finally be healed.

While he was saying this, a synagogue leader came and knelt before him and said, ‘My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.’ Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples.

Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, ‘If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.’

 Jesus turned and saw her. ‘Take heart, daughter,’ he said, ‘your faith has healed you.’ And the woman was healed at that moment. 

When Jesus entered the synagogue leader’s house and saw the noisy crowd and the people playing pipes, he said, ‘Go away. The girl is not dead but asleep.’ But they laughed at him. After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up. News of this spread through all that region. (Matthew 9:18-26, NIV)

 When I watch people receive relatively quick healing in a crisis situation, it’s easy to feel like Jesus doesn’t see my less urgent longing for healing. When I read this story, I can’t help but marvel at his response to this woman. She knew that she just needed to touch Jesus to be healed. He took the time to speak to her, to affirm her, to see her. Then He took the time to go heal a young girl.

Jesus isn’t up in heaven trying frantically to fix all the world’s problems. He wants to know each of us, our struggles and our triumphs. With Him, all things are possible. He wants us to expect Him to intervene, in His timing, for His glory.

Surprising Seasons of Growth

Today, July 2, 2014, marks two years since I moved out of my parents’ house. I can’t believe it! I never expected to be one of the first two of my siblings to strike out on my own. Well, not on my own exactly. I live with my twin sister, but I have my own bedroom. That’s a first!

Moving out was one of the biggest changes in my life. At barely 19, I was about five years younger than I thought I would be before the move was possible. At first, when my parents were looking at apartments, I didn’t think I was ready. Maybe they didn’t either. At any rate, my parents knew that it was the best option for me. I moved to an apartment close to my church and one campus of the university I planned to attend that fall. It was a good fit, so I made the difficult, but exciting transition into young adulthood.

It hasn’t come without growing pains. I’ve been forced to learn how to cope with loneliness. When you live in a house with five siblings and share a room with two of them, you are never alone! When I first moved out, it was summer, so I wasn’t in school yet. I don’t have a job. I hated the silence and the time alone. I tried to keep busy as best I could, but it was still difficult. I still prefer company over being alone, but I’m learning how to enjoy that time. I listen to lots of music and audio drama. (Adventures in Odyssey is not just for kids) I read, I write, watch TV, pray. I basically do anything I did in my parent’s house. That being said, I have to be much more intentional about how I spend my day. I could waste it by binge watching Netflix. My parents aren’t watching. But that wouldn’t be constructive to me or anyone else. It also wouldn’t glorify God.

I have also become more intentional with my friendships. I realized early on that if I didn’t seek out my friends, I would be stuck in my apartment all by myself. This isn’t high school anymore. I don’t see my friends every day. Now I call friends as much or more than I text them and set up coffee dates whenever possible. It’s important to me to keep my friendships strong. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” (NKJV) Friendships are valuable. I love my friends and I desire to be there for them.

This desire also extends to my family. I go to my parent’s house for dinner as much as I can. It’s great to play with my youngest siblings and enjoy everyone’s company Those evenings are great, and I plan on keeping them going. It keeps us close.

Another verse in Proverbs comes to mind now.

"A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps."

(Proverbs 16:9, NKJV)

I didn’t think I would be here right now, but God planned it to force me to grow. He ushered me into this season of new adventures before I could turn back. I can’t wait to see what happens next.