Will God Really Provide?

There are times when I see very clearly the areas of my life in which my faith is underdeveloped. Lately I have seen that to be true in relation to my finances.

I have just applied to do an interns program at my church this fall. I’ve been planning on this for months, but I just submitted a formal application yesterday. The program consists of nine months of online Bible classes that I will take with a group of other interns and continual service and discipleship within the church every week. It is an incredible opportunity to grow in my faith and become more involved in the life of the church I grew up attending. However as with other similar programs there is a cost. It is going to cost me $4,500 to complete the program. Right now I have a disability check coming in every month. It stretches pretty far already for how small it is. Therefore, even though I’ve done a little bit of fundraising in the past few months, I still don’t know where the money will come from.

This is a new test of faith for me. I have spent years believing for physical healing and have grown in my knowledge of the Bible and how Jesus wants me to live for Him. I have even had first-hand experience with being on the front lines of the spiritual battle within my soul. However, even though I was taught the importance of tithing from a young age, and my family has experienced financial provision, this is the first time I’ve had to believe that God is going to provide for me specifically. The provisions God has given to my family in the past have come because of my parents faith for their finances. Now I need vibrant faith of my own in this area and the journey hasn’t been easy.

I wonder if this is how the disciples felt when Jesus was about to feed over 5000 people in John chapter 6. They had seen Jesus heal and teach, but they hadn't yet seen Him provide food for this many people.The beginning of the story is very telling.

Then Jesus lifted up His eyes, and seeing a great multitude coming toward Him, He said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread, that these may eat?” But this He said to test him, for He Himself knew what He would do. 

Philip answered Him, “Two hundred denarii worth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may have a little.”
(John 6:5-7, NKJV)

Jesus already knew that He was going to multiply five loaves and two fishes that a little boy brought and feed 5000 men plus their women and children. He knew that there were going to be twelve baskets of leftovers when all was said and done. He didn’t reveal this to Philip. Instead, He tested his faith to see how he would respond. I find this interesting in relation to my own situation. Jesus has not revealed to me how the money will be provided for this next season in my life. But this passage makes clear that He already knows where it’s coming from! Just as He knew then that each person would be satisfied that day, He knows how my needs will be met. That’s the reason why worrying about tomorrow is pointless. There is no way I can know what will happen tomorrow. I can trust that Jesus not only knows what my tomorrow will bring, He knows the end from the beginning!

I have two choices. I can either give God every logical reason why I will never have the money for interns, or I can trust that He has the “riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:19, NIV) at His disposal to provide for my every financial need. I choose to trust God!